Thanks to a friend of mine, I got a discounted rate for the first three months, and didn't pay any joining fee. The machines in the gym are excellent; I guess they must be some of the newest LifeFitness have to offer.
Not only do they have touch screens and are usable in many languages, but every cardio machine has a 17"-or-so Sharp AQUOS flat screen bolted to the top, with a remote control and headphone extension cable. Underneath the control area there is even a port/cable to charge an iPod/iPhone, and a USB socket, for saving progress etc. Pretty cool!
On the way out though, something clicked as I realised that they have built their swimming pool on the first floor *above* the ground-floor car park. Even if it's a quarter of the size of a full olympic pool it must weigh more than 500 tonnes(!), so surely it would be safer to have the car park above the pool?